I have been having a major dilemma for the past two days: to PhD or not to PhD. The problem is that for the past 2-3 weeks I am doing nothing but preparing my set of docs for a 3-years scholarship. It is getting almost done when the last document, the one where you describe your 3-year studies plan (2 pages only) just did not go well. What was wrong?

And then, one night, I just got it: I don't want to keep on in the university. At least not right now. I have spent the last 2 years here. Life is running so fast out there, and I science - not really. And I am a dynamic person, just feeling that things are passing by and I am not with them.

So, what were my pro's for this decision?

1. I want to get more experience in the community sector (not that I have non, but in Montreal is different, and I like to meet more groups)
2. I want to feel more useful. Right now, I have no idea why I should be writing a thesis, who will read it, who will care about my research. Maybe in a few months, I will get some use for it, and will make up my mind.
3. I can apply for a scholarship next year. Anyway, it won't be available before September next, so I will have to find some job by then.

Why do I hesitate then?

1. Because the amount is considerable, non taxable, and it securises our life for the next 3 years
2. Because I've spent weeks already on this, and it is a pity to leave it like this.

And now, the most interesting part: what friends say.

• it is like in a software project: when it starts looping, abandon it. You have maybe waisted 3 months on it, but you don't want to waist 6 in the end (bgm)
• listen to your inside voice (maria d.)
• All theory, dear friend, is gray, but the golden tree of life springs ever green (goethe)
• The only important question here is if the road in front of you has heart. If yes, take it. If not, leave it and never turn back. (don juan)